Elizabeth “Bettye” Smelser

In Loving Memory

We are deeply saddened to share that our mom, Elizabeth “Bettye” Smelser, died on January 16, 2026 —four months after learning that aggressive cancer she first survived in 2018 had returned. We celebrated her 79th birthday in the hospital, days after receiving the devastating news. She chose to be private, and there were very few close to her that knew she was going through all of this.



It was her wish to spend her final months at home, and thanks to the extraordinary support of her care team at The Ottawa Hospital Cancer Centre, the dedicated PSWs, nurses, doctors, medical suppliers, and the coordination from Ontario Health at Home — along with the constant presence of her family (including partners Karen and Doug) — she was able to do exactly that. She remained aware, often stubborn, pain‑free, and surrounded every day by love and kindness. She died with her children, her sister and best friend Suzanne, and even her beloved cat Macy by her side.



Let us tell you about this remarkable woman. She was warm and kind, but also wonderfully complex. She embraced life fully, even as she faced more than her share of hardships.



Born the second of four daughters to a French‑speaking father and an Irish mother, she grew up in a small Quebec town. Her first boyfriend later became an actor and comedian and, more than sixty years after they dated, still referred to her as “the one that got away” in his one‑man show — something we delighted in watching together on television. She married a British‑born engineer, had the two of us, and eventually settled in Ontario.



When our parents divorced, we were still young, and she was far from her family in Quebec. The three of us became a little team. She was a “fun mom,” the kind who welcomed our friends for sleepovers, parties, and backyard bonfires — and who tolerated plenty of questionable behavior with nothing more than a raised eyebrow but also counselled more than a few wayward teenagers.



She spent our childhood as a stay‑at‑home mom, volunteering at the School for the Deaf as well as in our elementary school for hot dog days and field trips. She then returned to work in administrative support for the Ontario government, moving around the GTA. She was a fixture at the Tim Hortons in Milton (back when it still had counter seating) and built a wide circle of friends, colleagues, and neighbours everywhere she lived. She also had some romances along the way.



We were lucky to spend most of our lives living close to her — sometimes living with her. She was Patrick’s greatest cheerleader and no one could light her up and make her laugh the way he did. For Shawna she was a sounding board and delighted in hearing all the news of friends and experiencing her adventures vicariously. More than twenty years ago, her sister Suzanne moved in with her, and together they became a dynamic duo. They explored the Danforth and the Beach, attended concerts in every park, and toured small towns across Ontario. We were always searching for a poutine as good as Chez Ben in her hometown (when you know, you know). She had a cottage in the Kawarthas that she loved.



Music was always part of our home. We remember disco — ABBA and Boney M especially — blasting during long car rides, along with Top 40, Neil Diamond, Kenny & Dolly, John Denver, Michael Bublé, and Céline Dion. She adored The Carol Burnett Show, which we watched every night after dinner. She devoured crime novels and loved Murder She Wrote, Miss Marple, Agatha Christie, Matlock, and every British mystery she could find. Once she discovered the Game Show Network, she happily played along with all the shows from every decade. In her last years in Ottawa, we had weekly dinners and watched The Bachelor (though she preferred the “golden” versions) and every iteration of Bake Off. Scattergories nights topped off with take-out Chinese food was her favourite way to spend time together as a family.

Fashion wasn’t her passion, but she had a style all her own: micro‑mini dresses during her pregnancies, headscarves tied to the side, ponchos, bell bottoms. Her closet was a treasure trove for Halloween because she rarely parted with anything. She loved bold colours and wild patterns in her youth, and later in life perfected the combination of a black pant and a flowing top. She never left the house without her brightest lipstick and signature scent.



Although she didn’t have grandchildren, she was a devoted grandmother to our many pets and fosters. Every animal adored her. She always had a cat curled in her lap or a dog licking her ear. She loved the other “littles” in her life too, and was Auntie Bettye to many.



She was a wonderful cook — our friends still talk about her Dutch pancake, and we will forever crave her spaghetti sauce. She crocheted and donated countless blankets and throws that are now scattered around the globe. She sewed many of our clothes and toys, and grew and canned much of our food —simply because she enjoyed it. She expressed love through her hands.



We will miss her deeply. She asked not to have a service, but we hope this story gives you a glimpse of what she meant to us, and to so many others. Her last wish was that we “take her with us on our adventures around the world,” and we will proudly honour that request.



Thank you to everyone who has shared memories or told us what she meant to you. If you wish, a donation to a charity of your choice would be a meaningful tribute to her life.